Do it for yourself
by Notsocoolio
Summary: There's no one Bakugou hates more than himself


_Sigh_

Bakugou wakes up, and groans. He solidifies himself and slips his legs out of the bed.

 _Just move_

He gets up slowly, and trudges to his closet, pulling out his uniform and taking off his clothes.

 _It'll be done with soon_

He slips his pants on, buttons them, and then stops to stare at his wrists.

 _No it won't_

He shakes his head and slips his shirt on, buttoning it up sloppily, before slipping on his blazer and ignoring the tie.

 _But it could be_

He walks away from his closet, out of his room, and down the stairs. He walks past the kitchen, leaving the house before anyone can coax him into breakfast.

 _I've already tried that_

In his stupor that morning, Bakugou didn't realize that he hadn't taken his medicine or gotten his lunch until he was already at school.

 _Fuck_

"Hey, bro! You're here early!"

Bakugou turns to look at Kirishima, "I'm always here this early."

"Really? Wow!" Kirishima praised, impressed.

"Yeah, sure," Bakugou grumbles, looking down at the pavement and continues walking.

Kirishima looked worriedly at his back. "Bakugou? Are you doing okay?"

Bakugou growled, slightly annoyed, "Yeah. I'm fine, just fucking tired. Forgot my lunch this morning."

 _And my meds_

"Well, if you're sure," Kirishima says, walking past Bakugou.

 _I feel like shit_

The color seemed to drain from the world.

The red from Kirishima's hair. The green of the trees, even the yellow from the sunlight.

 _It's all bland_

The numbness in his heart twisted to agony, but he ignored it.

He knew the chemical processes of depression.

But it didn't stop how he was feeling.

 _I feel like shit_

Bakugou almost wanted to call his mom, but that would feel like defeat.

 _Old hag would worry too much anyway_

It wasn't like he was going to try that again anyway, he just needed to take his medication so he gets some dopamine, or whatever.

Aizawa walked into class, late as usual, and started the lesson. It was going to be a normal day, apparently.

 _I almost wish this were a normal school_

Bakugou rolled his eyes at himself. He was going to be a hero, so why did he want so bad to just go back to elementary school?

 _To when this all started_

" _ **Kacchan, stop! If you keep hurting him, I-I'll have to stop you myself!"**_

 _ **Bakugou scoffed, pressing his fist to his palm, and grinning, "Really, Deku? What could you do, without a quirk? Poor, useless Deku!"**_

 _ **Bakugou charged, the two other boys rallying behind him, as he punched Deku in the face.**_

 _ **He hated how flesh felt against his skin, and he hated how Deku looked on the ground, crying.**_

 _ **But he had to teach him a lesson, didn't he? That Bakugou was the best. And not to look down on him.**_

It was a few days later that he discovered that he wasn't quite so great.

" _ **Come on, Katsuki! We're going to be late!" Mitsuki yelled.**_

 _ **Bakugou was nervous, he hated the dentist. He wrung his sweaty hands, slipped his shoes on and raced outside to meet his mom.**_

 _ **He reached out to take her hand, and she went to grab it.**_

 _ **As soon as their hands touched, his skin exploded, and he faintly heard his mom's cry of pain as he realized what he did.**_

 _ **And so he ran.**_

He never held hands with anyone after that, and he still had to look at the scar up her arm.

It took him a long time to figure out why he didn't have a matching one.

 _ **Bakugou was walking into the elementary school when he suddenly stopped.**_

 _ **He faintly heard the laughter of his two friends, and followed the noise. He saw them standing over some kid, threatening him.**_

 _ **Bakugou growled, hating those two with all of his might. "What the fuck are you two doing?"**_

 _ **They both looked at each other for a second when one replied, "Teaching this idiot a lesson."**_

" _ **What the fuck ever. We're about to be late to class."**_

 _ **Bakugou nodded his head to the adjacent hallway from them. The kid on the floor got the message and bolted away.**_

 _ **Bakugou's friends had already started walking, and didn't notice the exchange.**_

Bakugou never liked his friends. They were idiots that didn't know a thing about him.

They thought Bakugou was violent, angry, and powerful.

But that was only a part of Bakugou.

It wasn't until seventh grade that he found out he was anything more

 _ **Bakugou stood over Deku's trembling form, grinning down at him.**_

" _ **You know, I really think you could be a hero!"**_

 _ **Deku shakily smiled, "R-really?"**_

 _ **Bakugou snorted, "Yeah, by jumping off the roof and saving us of your presence!"**_

 _ **Suddenly, everything was still. Time had stopped. Bakugou didn't really feel that way, so why did he say that?**_

 _ **And then he realized:**_

 **I don't really feel that way**

 _ **And time started again.**_

 _ **Deku gasped, held tears falling down his cheeks as the other boys laughed.**_

 _ **Bakugou halfheartedly chuckled, and then walked out into the hallway.**_

 _ **His head was pounding, but that didn't stop the pain in his chest.**_

 _ **Why would he say that?**_

 _ **Why did he say that?**_

 _ **Why did he do all this in the first place?**_

 _ **He didn't know, and the confusion only hurt his heart more.**_

He figured it out one day.

The people around him had showered him with love, praise, and affection. Especially after his quirk had developed, which warped his mind into thinking that he was _amazing!_

On the other hand, people also taught him that being quirkless was a bad thing, but Bakugou liked Deku too much to hurt him.

Ironically, that didn't last long.

When Deku tried to help him up from the stream he'd fallen into, Bakugou suddenly felt threatened, like Deku had screamed that Bakugou was weak and that he had needed a quirkless guy's help.

Well, that hurt Bakugou's pride.

And he exploded.


End file.
